Monday June 28, 1886
Jervis McEntee Diary Entry, June 28, 1886, from the Jervis McEntee papers, 1850-1905, in the Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution
Monday, June 28, 1886 Oh dear! Night comes and I feel lonely and sad and half discouraged with the feeling that the days and the years slip and I accomplish so little, and yet learning of others about me struggling with ill health and fatal habits one surely in my condition ought to feel that there is much to live for. I took my father out for a drive up to Kingston after breakfast. It was a glorious morning with a brisk breeze from the North and I feel that I would like to go somewhere and ride all day, but he found it too cool and we came back home, then I went down town and had my hair cut and again drove to Kingston to the county clerks office where I looked up the description of the lot with the concrete house under the hill my father sold to Mrs. Ann Murphy. After dinner I went down there and measured the lot 49 ft on Holmes St. and marked it on the map of our property. I picked some cherries and some strawberries and so this beautiful day has gone. My painting seems far, far away but with ease of mind I know all that desire will come back, if that time is not too far off. I think all these cool, delightful days of dear Gertrude. Never a day goes by that I do not think of her and yesterday a sudden pang went through me with a startling realization that she is utterly gone from earth. I had been thinking of her and with a sudden strong desire to go to her and be with her as for a brief moment it seemed I might till I realized how impossible it was. It almost seems as though for moments our souls go away somewhere into infinity and as suddenly return with their burdens of despair. I went down to John McEntees this evening where Sara had been to tea. I did not see Nannie who is not well but saw John who seemed worried and anxious. Fred and Annie Norton drove down from High Falls and called. Sadie Crosby returned from Europe Saturday and Sara went down to see her this afternoon. Girards wife and Charlie and Dwightie returned from Lanes this morning where they have been a week or more. Girard went out for them on Saturday. Tom began to cut the hay today.
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