Wednesday, Oct 15, 1884 There has been a sharpness in the air all day. My father seems to be gaining strength and to feel more cheerful. We finished picking the apples and Tom and Henry put up the hall stove, mine and Saras. I put in a lot of glass and have been busy about a thousand things feeling the almost hopelessness of our situation. Still I try to be hopeful. I am going through just the same experience that Taylor went through. Trying to keep up a large place with all its trying incidents on insufficient means asking myself how long will we be able to do it. If I had only myself to consult I perhaps would know what to do, but with my father so feeble I do not know what to do. I notice the carriage house roof is in a very bad condition and I have no money to put on a new one and whenever I go something is needed to be done. Six years ago tonight my dear Gertrude lay in this room, all lifes trials and anxieties done and I more lonely than I could ever express. What will the next year bring? I ask myself over and over. Legrand Abbey and his wife came and called on Janette and Emily. We had some music and the echoes of a life that is gone were awakened by the sound of dear Gertrudes piano. I am tired, unhappy, apprehensive and almost discouraged, and Girards entanglements add to all my alarms. I am glad to forget them all in my sleep and awake with regret in the morning.