Saturday, Jan 29, 1881 This would have been dear Gertrudes forty seventh birth day. I went home by the morning train thankful I had a home to go to in times like these days so full of a tender sadness to me. Day by day I feel a growing desire to be amid the scenes of our happy married life and am more and more a stranger here in the city. My father met me at the Rhinebeck station with the sleigh. I found that Maurice was in the depths again. Troubles come in companies and I think the more we have to bear the better we are to endure. How glad and thankful I was to be at home, knowing too it is a pleasure to my father and mother and to Sara to have me there and it seemed to me if dear Gertrude could reach me in all this earth it would be here. These rolling years touch her no more and she can never grow older. I love to think of that and that I shall one day meet her as she was when I last saw her.