Friday, Jan 16, 1880 Painted all day on my picture and advanced it considerably but I cannot work with the interest I ought to. I am so unhappy, lonely and half terrified at some vague terror of the future. I wonder if I ever will be happy again or if I am to wear out my life in sadness. I went up to Eastmans and spent an hour, but I do not get such comfort from any one--that must come from within. I had a letter from Sara. The Swans are going up there today. I regret it for I am going home on Saturday and do not want to meet any strangers there. Mary has been to see Cornelia Ellis and although she feels encouraged she is evidently in a very critical condition. She also saw Joe and was struck by his feeble appearance.