Wednesday, Jan 15, 1890 The rain is pouring most dismally. I awoke feeling very weak and discouraged and hardly able to drag myself over to breakfast. I cannot account for this excessive shortness of breath. I feel today as though I would like to go home and stay there. I see no encouragement in my profession and I have a feeling that I shall not live long. This shortness of breath I cannot account for. I came to my room in a pouring rain and packed the sketching box for Mexico, which was really quite a job. It is directed and all ready to go and I would have taken it to the Express office if it had not rained so. My picture "Birches" 15x18 went to Springfield today. This weather is enough to discourage me. I felt well with the brisk air of yesterday but it seems impossible for the temperature to reach the freezing point. Tidings of cold weather come from the West. Cattle dying from cold and starvation in Wyoming, and here rain, fog and mud. A letter from Janette this morning gives account of the same sort of weather. The rain abated about the time I went to Dr. Patchins but tonight it is foggy and disagreeable and uncomfortably warm in places where there is the least fire. I have felt weak and languid all day and scarcely able to drag myself about. It may be the result of my exercises. Dr Taylor told me it would aggravate my trouble at first. I took the box for Miss Robertson down to the Wells, Fargo express office this afternoon and paid the express $2.85. It goes direct without change and will reach there in six or seven days. Stopped in at the Century a little while this evening but it was rather dull and I did not stay long.
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