Sunday June 23, 1889
Jervis McEntee Diary Entry, June 23, 1889, from the Jervis McEntee papers, 1850-1905, in the Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution
Sunday, June 23, 1889 It has been exceptionally cool, more like late September than June, and this forenoon the sunshine was cold and watery, but a clear, still and brilliant air this afternoon. I have read the most of the day and have finished the diary and letters of Madame D'Arblay in the reading of which I have had great entertainment. She saw great sadness in her last years as necessarily almost every one does who survives friends and associates. I have written to no one today as is my usual custom. I do not feel cheerful or happy and so I think I had better not write to any one. I seem to be waiting for some indefinable happiness or satisfaction and when I ask myself what it is I cannot tell. I am unhappy that my time is passing in absolute indifference, if I might not more justly say, repugnance to my art. If I were only at work on a picture which interested and absorbed me how much happier I should be. I hope I have not finally bidden farewell to the days in which I delighted in my work.
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