Saturday August 28, 1886
Jervis McEntee Diary Entry, August 28, 1886, from the Jervis McEntee papers, 1850-1905, in the Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution
Saturday, Aug 28, 1886 Awoke early, with a depressed feeling against which I struggled with some success, but there were moments when I seemed almost phrensied. The sun came up in the brazen sky like a ball of fire and this has been one of the very hottest days. Notwithstanding I went over to my studio and painted on a little picture which I began some time ago. This afternoon I painted on a water color I laid aside several years ago. My only salvation now is to get interested in painting, There is nothing else to look to. I am in a most wretched condition, irritable and savage and entirely discouraged. I am ashamed of myself and try hard to fight against this depression. A little success would make a new man of me, for all my trouble comes from the anticipation of disaster. A telegram came from Sara from Utica today saying she had missed the train and would not arrive here until 7.30. Lucy and I drove up for her. She had had a tedious day waiting in Utica and a hot ride home. It is almost breathless this evening. Just the weather I like least, and to me the most depressing.
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