Friday, Aug 20, 1886 A serene and beautiful day. Jamie and I picked the Bartlett pears down by the wood-shed. Simon Westbrook called to see about the ownership of a lot in Vauxhall bought by Dubois of my father and which will be sold for taxes--some $34. I am really unable to pay the taxes and save the lot worth perhaps a hundred dollars. O I am so tired of this state of dependence that I sometimes feel I cannot endure it. Our house here is becoming hateful to me on account of the demands which I cannot meet. What I want is repose and the command of my time for my art and I am willing to do without any thing else. I think Lucy and Andrews are beginning to see what burdens I am obliged to bear. I had a letter from Downing wanting to borrow my tent to take to the Adirondacs. When I wanted one I bought one and I do not like to lend it but will do so. Tom is digging the potatoes, the tops having all died.
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