Saturday, Oct 31, 1885 The day began with worries. The cows had broken out of the barn yard, the high wind having loosened the gate. Tom has not yet come back from his wedding trip, and there was a general feeling with me that "life was not worth living". I felt a sort of despair and an utter cowardice in trying to meet the daily annoyances and worries. In this mood I turned to my diary of a year ago and found I was feeling just so then and that after all I had got on thus far with comparatively little trouble. So I braced myself and resolved to be a little braver and more patient. I went to work and mended the gate substantially. Sara and I had decided to put down the sitting room carpet and get that room ready for winter, as it was cold this morning and there was snow on the Shandaken Mountains. I carried the carpet up from the carriage house and we got it down and the room nearly all settled by dinner time and I manfully tried to curb all impatience. Saras cook is home sick and wants to [leave?]. [Sara?] likes her and her little Ella is an interesting child and [we?] like to have her here. We dont know how it will [?] do not take to each other. Mrs. Cantine called to say she and her husband would come and see us this evening, but later she sent a note saying she had an engagement. She invited us to a dancing party at her house but I declined. She was very frank and very indiscreet in her comments on her prospective guests but she speaks impulsively and without bitterness. She seems to think society here not very stimulating. We sat in the sitting room and found it very cosy and homelike. We both of us thought and talked of our dear Mother as we put down the carpet today. We remembered how she and Sara went to N. Y. and bought it and all the interest she felt in putting it down and getting the room ready. Dear Mother. It will be two years Monday since she closed her eyes on all her interests which were our interests, and left us to sadly feel how changed is this lonely house without her loving and directing presence. Poor Mabel Reed made us a long call yesterday. She was staying at Mrs. Jansen Andersons for a day or two. What an experience the poor child has had and how full of sympathy and interest we both felt for her. She has grown into a very pretty and interesting woman. I wrote to Wilmurt today about trying to get one of my Milwaukee pictures "Changing Skies" into the Fall Academy Exhibition.
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