Tuesday, Feb 13, 1883 Painted on my small study (12x20) of my Jersey picture and finished it. It is very dull and there seems no interest in a stimulus for us artists. I get very despondent when I think of all my responsibilities and find the winter slipping away with no sales and no prospect of any. I wonder if there is any other country in the world where the Artists are so treated. I think a great deal about dear Gertrude and grieve for her with an inexpressible longing. Reading Fanny Kembles remembrances of lovely and noble women has brought her even more vividly before me, who is so seldom absent from my thoughts. Sometimes I almost fancy I can feel her sweet caress and see the sight of love in her loving eyes. What a sweet memory to call up at any moment whether I am happy or sorrowful. Mrs Abbey Sage Richardson and her son dined with us this evening. A cultivated interesting woman with a most sad history. I went to the club at 9 as Beard told me Bierstadt and others would be there to talk about the rotary exhibition, but they were not there.
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