Monday, Apr 23, 1883 Still cold and dark. Trimmed the pear tree down by the shop and the sickle also and cut out the top of the apple tree which obstructs the view from my bedroom window. Dear Gertrude used to direct me in this and I remembered so well seeing her stand there while I worked as she directed. Tom and I put some boards on the fence which had been torn off. I find so many things to do. I wish I had the means to keep all in repair but there seems so much to do it is almost hopeless. Still I feel more hopeful and encouraged. Sara showed me some little muffles she found in arranging my Mothers drawers. She told her they once belonged to dear Gertrude and Sara called my attention to the delicate lace edge and said she thought they were a part of her wedding garments. Dear Gertrude. They looked so like her that it brought the tears to our eyes to see and to touch these fragile things once belonging to her and which still remained while she is no more. Oh how sadly and tenderly I thought of her and how her absence intensifies the sense of loneliness here. It was raining and snowing and time for me to go. Sara cried as she said "it was so forlorn every time I went away." I felt badly to leave as I always do, and my mother cried as I bade her good bye but I told her Julia would be there soon after I left. Passing one of Mrs. Hatheways houses I saw crape on the door and the undertakers wagon there. Mr. Healinhead just died and I saw by the Freeman that Mrs. Broadhead had also died. Sam Coykendall and his wife were on the ferry boat going to New York. It rained when I arrived here but I built a fire and smoked a cigar and went to bed early, and had a most vivid dream of dear Gertrude, only momentary, but in which I saw her as plainly as though she stood before me with her sweet smile and her never failing expression of love for me. Once in a great while I see her just in this way without a suggestion of the years that have passed since she went away. How strange this is that the events of the past can sometimes repeat themselves to us in this clear and vivid manner and to me it is an infinite blessing and its influence remains with me a long time.
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