Jervis McEntee Diaries

Saturday November 27, 1880

Jervis McEntee Diary Entry, November 27, 1880, from the Jervis McEntee papers, 1850-1905, in the Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution

Saturday, Nov 27, 1880 Painted, but aimlessly all forenoon on the little portrait and then rubbed it all off. The Literary Club met here in the evening. There was a large attendance and Calverts essay on "Play" earned a good deal of discussion and was very favorably received. A letter from Weir in which he intimates that I write with restraint which I hardly understand. I am to leave for New York Monday and a thousand sorrowful suggestions take possession of me and I am full of discouraging thoughts. I have a great deal of money to pay soon and I dont feel as though my work will be wanted. We are full of anxiety here at home and I feel as I have half my life that we are on the edge of disaster. All depends upon what I can do in the near future. I had a momentary dream of dear Gertrude last night, just as several times before, a moment out of our past life and then I awoke. O if I could have a long dream of her, which has never been permitted to me yet. In these sorrowful days I think of her constantly, and I try to console myself with the thought that she is spared a share of my unhappiness.

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