Saturday, June 26, 1880 Henry came this morning and cut out some of the tree tops on the side hill to open the view which had closed up very much. We improved it very much but owing to the great heat and the difficulty of getting to the tops of the trees had to abandon it before doing all I wished to. Painted my binders boards for the last time. I am very lonely, discontented and unhappy. I cannot work and do not know what to do to pass the time. The moment I am unoccupied I am unhappy and it seems so difficult to keep occupied in any thing I want to do. I miss dear Gertrude constantly and cannot but think of her and grieve for her all the time. I see other men get accustomed to the loss of their wives, but it begins to seem to me I never will. I am lost without her constant love and interest which I always felt about me and the Earth is a desert without her sweet and intelligent companionship. I do not know what to do. It seems to me that if I could know that I could go to her it would solve every thing.
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