Saturday, Jan 31, 1880 Mary and I went to the Water Color Exhibition. It is very interesting and many of the pictures were sold. I felt sorry I had not some good thing there. Came to my room and painted until four o'clock when Mary and I went to Mrs. Watrous' tea where I saw a number of my friends. From there we went to Mrs. Wm. Church's where the two Miss Armours, Canadian ladies from Coburg are staying. I force myself to go out but I am unhappy and depressed in spite of all I can do. Found a letter from Sade on coming to my room in which she told me of Maurice and his misery and of what a lonely, desolate feeling she had had thinking of dear Gertrude. It was the day of the meeting of the Charities Aid association, and she had been there alone. They used to walk up together, but her absence had been so solemnly impressed upon her that she was overcome with a sense of desolation. My own sense of her loss was almost insupportable. I prayed to God that she might come to me and let me know that somewhere she still existed for me and was conscious of my suffering. But there is no response to such vain appeals. We have no right to make them. They come from our agony and our despair. Yet I do feel that in an immortal state my dear Gertrude awaits me. I should be more wretched than I am if I could not feel this.
< Previous Entry | Next Entry >Have you ever wanted to see a handful of folders in a collection at the Archives of American Art, but you couldn't find the time to come to our DC reading room? Then the Archives of American Art’s Digitization on Demand service is for YOU!
Original material can be consulted by appointment in our Washington, D.C. Headquarters.
Copies of unrestricted microfilm materials can be obtained through one of our affiliated research centers.
Research and reference services provides help finding, accessing, and using the collections at the Archives of American Art.
