Saturday, Dec 18, 1880 Am not accomplishing much, trying to construct a picture but find it difficult. There are too many anxieties and so little encouragement. Shattuck came in and talked a long while. He seems to feel very discouraged, but he has not progressed lately and besides has been away out of town. I believe was not here at all last winter. I know there are people who want my pictures if I could only reach them. Found a note in my box as I went home to dinner, from young Townsend who called on me a few days ago with regard to establishing himself as an art broker. He said a gentleman would like to see one of my pictures and asks me to let him have one a short time, which I will do. Went to the opening of the Salmagundi Club this evening. A great throng of people and many interesting works. From a hasty glance there seemed to be a great deal of ability displayed. Afterwards went to the club. Lang told me a great deal about Thompson confidentially. His life seems to have been wasted and from all accounts his habits must be pretty bad. I came to my room at midnight with an inexplicable longing for dear Gertrude in my loneliness and life seemed not worth living now that she is no more.
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