Thursday, June 7, 1888 The weather is cool with a clear atmosphere and North wind. I have had a lonely half sad feeling. Is the atmosphere of this place depressing to me with its memories and associations and the uncertainty which hangs about our future? I find it difficult to become interested in my profession. Any effort is a physical tax upon me and I am inclined to put off to some future time what I ought to do at once. I have tried to paint on the picture of Gertrude but I can make nothing out of it. The more I work on it the worse it looks. Sara went down to Ned Tompkins to see Laura. She expected to stay to tea and I was going down after tea but Laura had been invited to Mrs. Lindsleys to tea and so she came home.