Saturday, May 14, 1887 Have my trunk packed and leave by 4 oclock train full of disappointments and apprehensions to take up the burden of the summer. Wood came in and congratulated me on what I said at the Academy dinner saying I made the best speech of the evening. I told him I was glad to know I had said anything which could be thought at all interesting. I gave him his choice from six of the little framed sketches as I owed him something for the picture of Gertrude he painted. He selected a late Autumn, Hussy Hill. I walked over to Marys after my trunks had gone and I had covered up all my furniture and Marion and I went together to the train. Mary felt badly to have me leave and I confess this ending the season was a little sad to me, particularly as I go home feeling I have had so fruitless a winter. We had a pleasant trip through the fresh spring landscapes. The apple trees are in blossom and we found the spring as far advanced at home as near New York. Today is the third anniversary of Gussies death. I can see her as she looked in the early light of that spring morning when Sara called me and told me she thought she was near her end. I cannot bear to think of it. Poor suffering heart. Could she ever have imagined that her children would be alienated from all of us. This home is full of sadness to me and I look forward to the summer with apprehension, hardly knowing what to do with myself nor who to pass the days which should be full of work and content.