Thursday, Apr 28, 1887 A rainy day. I have been painting on a little picture after one of my small sketches, but as usual it is not as good. I am in no condition to paint and only do it to keep my mind occupied. I went around to the club in the evening but I did not have a good time. Edgar Ward and I were talking together when Ferguson came in and sat down. He is a false pretentious person and has said envious things of me and I dare say he hung my pictures this year in the Academy in the ignominious places two of them are in, but I try to be civil to him as he is not a well man. Nevertheless his presence is not agreeable to me. Then Mr. Hawley came in and talked of Wall Street and speculation and big sums of money which tired and depressed me reflecting how poorly I am getting on in money matters so that I came to my room and went to bed feeling very discouraged, lonely and unhappy.