The Jervis McEntee Diaries - April 18, 1887

Diary Entry:

Monday, Apr 18, 1887 It began to snow this morning and snowed furiously all day, a foot of snow having fallen. Tonight the wind blows and it is a wild winter night. I went down to the bank to get a note of $750 discounted to meet my note of $500 coming due on the 22nd, the last installment of the $2000 accommodation Sam promised me so readily. When I handed the note to Bray he hesitated and asked questions and wanted me to see Mr. Cornell. I told him Sam had acquiesced in this arrangement and I supposed there was no question. I told him I didnt want to go to Cornell and he said he was going over and would see him and told me to come in in half an hour. My heart sank and I was in an agony of anxiety. It was snowing furiously. I thought of what a predicament I would be in if Cornell refused as I feared he would, as Bray intimated that he did not ratify Sams arrangement. I called in however after a half hour of the greatest mental torture, when he told me it was all right. He said he had told Mr. Cornell I did not want to come to see him, which I thought unnecessary, and so I determined to go over and see Mr. C. and tell him why I did not care to go, which I did. I found him alone. I said I feared from what Mr. Bray said he had arranged a wrong impression. I was not afraid to come to him but I did not want to intrude my affairs upon him, feeling it was [for?] Mr. Bray to decide that. He said he was afraid either that I did not like him or that I thought he did not like me, and there was no reason under Heaven for such a feeling. I think it was well I saw him as he is suspicious and I showed I was not afraid of him. This relieved my anxiety but it left its sting in showing me, how a disappointment like this would trouble me and gave me a vivid sense of my dependence. Mrs. Folant was to decide about the purchase of her lot today but as it was so stormy she did not come to Girards office. He saw her brother and they both advised me to go and see her which I did walking up through the blinding snow and slush. She said she had about decided to buy the lot and finally told me to make out the deed and she would come up to our house tomorrow and give me a check. I went home feeling greatly relieved. My feet were wet, I had suffered agonies of anxiety which interfered with my digestion and I sat down in front of the fire with a grateful feeling that for the present I had escaped disaster. After I got warm I made out the deed to have it ready when she came tomorrow and then quieted myself by reading in Mr. Frothinghams life of Wm. Henry Channing. I used to see him when he lived in Rondout but knew but little about him. He was a most earnest and devoted man and I regret I had not made his acquaintance. I met him in England at the Royal Academy and called on him at his house. Janette and Emily are still here, Janette not very well, and as I can see a source of anxiety to both Sara and Emily. I think Sara fears she may not be able to return home and with all her other cares and responsibilities this is an added one.

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