The Jervis McEntee Diaries - March 3, 1885

Diary Entry:

Tuesday, Mar 3, 1885 I had my breakfast in my room Sunday morning and then walked up to the foot of 42nd St and went home by the 10 oclock train. I had a pleasant ride through the wintry landscape and arrived there at 1. It was raining when the train arrived and so I rode down in the street car instead of walking as I intended to. Found my father had improved a little although he is not willing to admit that he has. Poor Sara is alone there and it saddens me to think of it. We are hoping Lucy is soon coming. A tender melancholy possesses me at home, thinking as I cannot help of all the dear ones who once blessed it with their presence and whom I meet there no more. What homesick, inexpressible longings pass through my mind every hour in the day. I look into the future and wonder what it is to be, even whether we shall be able to remain there. I have done so poorly in the way of sales this winter that I am very greatly troubled about ways and means for the summer. I hope to sell something yet but it seems most difficult to sell any thing. Charlie and little Girard came over and were at dinner with us. It is pleasant to have the children there. A letter came from Julia Wilkinson asking me to stop there over night on my way down as Mary was there and I telegraphed her I would. It rained Sunday afternoon but cleared in the night. I came away Monday with the noon train and crossed over to Pokeepsie on the ice. Mary and Julia met me on the other side although the walking was wet, and we walked up to the house together. I meant to have come down by an evening train as I had an appointment with the dentist at 9 this morning but they begged me to stay and I telegraphed Dr. Brown I would not be there. Old Mr. Gifford was there with Mary and I had a most delightful and satisfactory visit as I always do with these old friends and genuine people. I came down by the Hudson River train this morning and got here about 11. Found a most friendly and satisfying letter from Booth in answer to one I wrote him last week. I am sure he esteems me and respects me and I am also sure that I regard him as a true and generous friend. There is also a letter from Steese offering me $175 for the picture which I told him he might have for $200. I suppose I had better swallow my pride and let him have it although I sincerely dislike this haggling. I wish I were in a position promptly to reject it. A feeling of discouragement is again possessing me and I dread the coming summer. I wrote a short note to Booth acknowledging his letter and telling him it was what I expected from him. In the [?] as they were all going out from Marys feeling forlorn I went to see Dixie in Adonis. He is very amusing but I really reproached myself for spending the money it cost.

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