Sunday, Nov 11, 1883 A grey quiet day, the river perfectly quiet. I wrote to Lucy. Sam, Girard and I went to the Presbyterian church to hear Mr. Magees historical address preparatory to the celebration of the semi centennial anniversary of the Church on Wednesday. I read over some of Gertrudes and my letters of 1856-7&8 which I found in a box down in the carriage house. How little money we had and how often we were anxious about our money affairs, and yet how little it affected our happiness. Dear Gertrudes love for me was my great wealth. In all her letters that is most conspicuous. She never tired of telling me over and over again of her love. How can I live without her now I often ask myself. I took up a few Petunias and Verbenas yesterday from my mothers garden. How plainly I could see her as she used to busy herself out there and she too is gone. How many sad things have occurred in our family within the past year. First Downings accident and its attendant anxieties, then Poor Maurices death followed by the breach between Downing and Edwina and now our dear mothers death. Still as I wrote Lucy yesterday we do not grieve hopelessly but are cheerful and happy thank Heaven. I am glad that I can feel so for I am easily saddened and cast down, particularly by these inevitable changes and losses in our household.