Monday, May 28, 1883 Downing and I went to the end of the cemetery where I made a sketch looking up the creek. But my sketches from nature discourage me they look so flat and colorless. The color was charming today and there were fine skies but I missed them as I usually do. I always feel melancholy after making a sketch because I come so very far short of the charm of nature. I wonder if other artists feel this disappointment to the same extent. After dinner Calvert and I went up through Wiltwyck cemetery to the new station and returned through John OReillys place where I had never been before. It looked ruinous and desolate. It seems to me that in a city like this such a property ought to command a purchaser and not lie idle so many years. I have all I can do to keep from feeling despondent and unhappy.