Monday, Feb 26, 1883 Colder and very icy and slippery. Have felt melancholy and depressed and filled with anxieties. What am I to do to meet all the obligations which will soon be pressing upon me I do not know. So often I have gone through this same worry and have as often emerged from it somehow, not always successfully, but now it seems to me the future looks more troubled than ever. It seems all wrong with my room full of pictures, the sale of one or two of which would solve the difficulty and with so much valuable property here in Rondout that we should be so troubled for the means to live and meet our daily needs. Charles Kembles sufferings in his experience with the Covent Garden Theatre seemed so real to me as related by Fanny Kemble. I know what agony such troubles cause. What has the future in store for us? God alone knows. I came away sadly enough by the evening train. We rode over on the ice. It was very cold. Got to my room about half past nine feeling sad and lonely and depressed. Thought, Oh so sadly of my dear Gertrude whose loving heart is close to me in these dark days whose bitterness she happily, is spared.