Thursday, May 18, 1882 Went down to Devoes in Fulton St. and bought my painting supplies for the summer. Walked all the way back up Broadway. The wind blew from the N. E. and it was cold and raw. Wrote to Mr. Pumpelly that I would be ready to go on short notice with him. Am packing up and arranging to leave for home on Saturday. It always depresses me and I have done so poorly this winter that it is particularly gloomy to me now. I think of dear Gertrude in my loneliness and sadness and it seems to me if I were going to meet her at home as I used to I could bear all other disappointments and defeats. Getting my things together to leave I came upon so many objects connected with her and our life here together that my heart is wrung constantly. Sometimes I question the wisdom of going West with Mr. Pumpelly but all advise me to go and I hope it may awaken new enthusiasms in me and fit me to work better. Called to see Miss Nesmith and her sister to bid them good bye and spent the evening with them.