Sunday, May 7, 1882 Went in the morning over to the cemetery. The grass was springing thickly on our lot but I could not tell whether the sweet brier I put out on dear Gertrudes grave was growing or not. The buds seemed alive. Then I went full of sad thoughts and tender memories of my darling out on the Commons where she and I walked so much in the Autumn. O the sorrow and the unutterable longing for her that took possession of me. I could not bear to be alone and came home. It seems so sad every where even at home where I cannot bear to be alone a moment. When it will all end with me God alone knows. In the afternoon my mother, Sara, Lucy and I took a ride out on the Flat bush road and home by Livingstons and the Roatina. I copied some favorite poems of Taylor & Lowell for Mrs. Eastman Johnsons scrap book.