Sunday, Apr 2, 1882 A beautiful day. Lucy and I walked over to the cemetery. I could not help wishing I were resting by the side of my dear Gertrude if it were not that others are depending on me. It seems so sad to me at home when we are in this anxious condition and I keep wondering what I am to do there all summer unable to free myself from this heavy melancholy. I try to be brave but I seem unable to be cheerful. I wrote to Booth telling him just how troubled I am and urging him to come here on his way home as he proposed. Wrote to Weir also and to Dr. Pelton.