Friday, May 20, 1881 Awoke too late for breakfast and had it in my room. Am packing up to go home. It is melancholy business. I look over so many things which recall the past, all of it so intimately associated with dear Gertrude, that it saddens and depresses me. All changes trouble me now. I always think now when I go away that perhaps I may never return. I wish I could drop every thing and go without going over all these things which so wring my heart. I had a letter from Maurice. Homesick and unhappy. Each has his trouble. Called on Miss Nesmith in the evening. From there to the Century where I met Launt, Mr. Haskell & Mr. Delano whom I had an objection to on account of an embarrassing position he once put me in. He was however so unconscious of it and withal so friendly that I couldn't remember it against him.