Thursday, Apr 7, 1881 Awoke greatly depressed and my thoughts have been with dear Gertrude. The loneliness of my life seems almost insupportable and yet I have so much that others have been deprived of. Tried to paint but could hardly force myself to work. Wrote to Sade that I would come home Saturday. When I went down to mail it I met an elderly man in the hall who proved to be Mr. Howland of Auburn an old Clinton school companion whom I have not seen for about thirty seven years. He came up to my room and spent an hour or more. Said he would have known me if he had met me in the street. I dont think I can have changed as much as many do. We talked over school days and the experiences of life and were greatly interested in visiting each other. After he went away a Miss Nesmith called. She is a friend of my sister Lucys and was in Arizona with her. Her brother was an army officer. He and his wife went to Cape May last summer and his wife was drowned there. He died in three months I gathered from grief at her loss. She told me how Lucy had talked to her about me and of my loss and urged her to come see me. She seemed a very sincere and intelligent woman and I had a most agreeable conversation with her. She struck me as more than an ordinary woman. Mrs. Weir called with Miss Weir Julians sister. She told me Lily French had come to town to attend Miss Godwins wedding. She seemed to feel grieved that Johns picture had been rejected at the American Artists exhibition but I tried to console her. Altogether it has been a day of varied interest to me and yet full of sadness. In the evening Wood and I called at Mrs. Robbins' but she was out of town. From there went to the club. Eastman wrote me a note regretting they were out when I called and said they were going to Miss Godwins wedding and asked me if I were invited to come and dine with them and go from there, but I was not invited.