Wednesday, Feb 9, 1881 Warm and the streets in a dreadful condition. Col. Sanford and his brother called. Vaux came to see my picture. He thought it very successful as did Wood and Shattuck who also saw it. I had a letter from Alice and one from Gussie. Went to a reception at Mrs. Millers but did not know any one and staid only a short time. There seems no use in my going to such places for I always come away feeling dissatisfied with myself. The days are heavy and sad and I cant help a dreadful feeling of loneliness which sometimes is almost despair.