Monday, Jan 17, 1881 Another bright beautiful winter day. It gives me a pang to leave home to come back to the remorseless city. I am always so glad to go up there on Saturdays and so sad to leave on Monday. I always read dear Gertrudes letters while I am there and I see how eagerly she used to look for me on Saturdays. I hardly dare think of this and of seeing her no more, for I live now in an atmosphere of tender regret for her and for our happy life together, about which there is something strong and indescribable leading me to withdraw myself from the active world and to seek for seclusion and rest away from general society. It is not a healthy feeling but I cannot help it. Attended a meeting of the Council.