Tuesday, July 13, 1880 Walked on the Common this morning and stopped at the cemetery. Have been greatly depressed. Came home and wrote a little on my article. After dinner drove to the post office and found a letter from Fred Sawyer relative to the articles Oscar sent. Went with my mother to take a number of the smaller children out to the ford at the Saw kill where they had a pleasant time. I do not think I have been there since my mother, Mrs. Davis and dear Gertrude and I were there two years ago the 27th of this month when I made a little sketch in which they all three appear, my mother and Mrs. Davis fishing and Gertrude sitting on her camp chair sewing. Darling Gertrude. How sad were all the memories of this spot for I was thinking of her all the time and could not enter into the innocent joy of the children. I have labored under a most hopeless and despairing feeling all day. If I could only once more feel hopeful and escape from my sad thoughts.