Friday, July 2, 1880 Painted all day in the forenoon on my picture and in the afternoon Julia Vaux sat for me and I began a life size head. No news from Sara this evening. As I write it is raining gently. I sat in my room after tea and thought of dear Gertrude and of her last days until it seemed almost as though my heart would break. This sense of loneliness and dislocation comes over me at times with an awful force which I can hardly endure.