Tuesday, Apr 27, 1880 This morning I awoke with a most desolate and despairing feeling. I wrote to Sara and poured out my wretchedness to her. Then I walked up to the Academy to see if Brown had any expectations of selling any of my pictures. He said he had had people examine them and he hoped to sell the two smaller ones and told me again he thought I would sell the one in my studio to Mr. Goodmans friend. This was some encouragement but the slavery of living on these slender expectations is woful [sic] to me in my depressed condition. From here I went to Marys to lunch and after lunch we went to visit the new Oregon ship "Columbia" on board of which there was a reception by invitation of Mr. Villard. There were throngs of people there, many friends and the occasion was very pleasant. There was a collation and dancing. In the evening we went to Mrs. Stones to meet Mrs. Leonorvens where we met every one we knew. Mrs. Stone assured me early this winter she was going to have one of my pictures and has repeated it since, but has evidently concluded to do without it. I can not say any thing about it, but I saw three pictures by Gifford, Whittredge, Wyant and others and reasonably thought I ought to be represented. While I was at Marys waiting to go to the steamer reception Carrie Wilkins Porter and her husband came to make a call. She looked very pretty and sweet and happy but had grown stouter. She talked as though money were scarce, rather to the captains annoyance. It was the first time I had seen her since just after her marriage.