Sunday, Apr 11, 1880 We spent the night at Jakes. His house is small and I fear we put them to trouble. Jake and I had to sleep together and this is never agreeable to me. I did not sleep well. We came back to N.Y. at noon. The wind blew a gale and the weather most disagreeable. It is impossible for me to describe my unhappiness. I am wretched and lonely and dread the days as they succeed each other. Julia Dillon dined with us. She is to sail for Europe on Tuesday. I think of dear Gertrude all the time. Mr. & Mrs. Bachelder called on me on Saturday. She looked melancholy. Mrs. Weir told me she has a cancer. She said she was not well and was here consulting a physician. We talked of Gertrude and it made me most unhappy to see her looking so badly. I came over to my room and did some writing and then went back to Marys. After dinner Calvert went to Mrs. Bottas and I spent the evening with Mary and Sara. I have no inclination to make visits and find it grows more and more difficult.