Sunday, Mar 28, 1880 Stormy all day and the ground covered with snow. I could not bear to be alone for all my memories of dear Gertrude came to me and made me most sad and lonely. Up at home I struggle every day with these sad thoughts and do not seem to be able to put them away. I am afraid I will never again be happy there nor indeed any where else. I find that I cannot bear to be alone and yet how much of my life must be spent alone.