Maurice has kept aloof from all our festivities. This morning he came in after being away all night. I asked him where he had been and on his giving me an evasive answer I followed him into the wash room and gave him the most serious talking to I ever gave him. I find he is drinking again and I am entirely discouraged about him. I told him he would lose his place but he came home in the evening intoxicated and went directly to his room. He has not tried to keep out of the way of temptations and he owes his fall to his defiance of the decencies of life. I told him that the shameless company he kept was the one thing we would not endure and if he persisted in going with disrespectable women he should leave here. But what is the use in talking to him. He is determined to go to destruction in spite of every thing and he does not try to keep out of bad influences. Pa, cousin Rachel, Sara and I took a sleigh ride out to the Flatbush church across to the Saugerties road, crossing again to the Flat bush road and home. It was very cold. I have been feeling most wretched and unhappy. I grieve so for dear Gertrude that there come times when her absence seems about insupportable. It seems to me I was never so unhappy and despondent. Maurices conduct adds to my grief and besides the worries of the annual payment of our taxes and interest are again pressing upon me. I do not think I am well. My digestion is bad temporarily, but that comes from our troubles and the one aggravates the other.