Booth came today and stood for the Richard 3rd which I painted as far as the figure is concerned. Silleck called for his bill and I had to tell him I could not pay him now. I feel very sorry for him and my inability to pay him has made me wretched all the afternoon. I feel almost despairing today and do not know where to turn for relief. My days drag wearily and I am as unhappy as I can possibly be.