Laura is very ill with a fever and we are much troubled about her. Sara thinks she is a little better today but I fear she will have a long illness. My father went off up the canal on Saturday to be gone two or three days and we have had two rainy days, Sunday and today. Sunday afternoon I called on Sam Coy Kendall and spent an hour with him. He told me about his business projects, showed me his pictures and two of his children whom I asked to see and seemed pleased that I came to see him. I have concluded upon mature reflection and after a talk with Gertrude and my father also to go to New York on Monday next Oct 2. It will be the first time in my life that I have not spent October in sketching but this is an exceptional year and I am going to trust my inclinations. If I had a little money ahead or if my fathers affairs were in better condition I probably would not go. I shall have barely money to take me to town but I hope to sell something soon and I shall go to work painting at once. Wrote to Weir on Sunday, to Mr. Hoe and to Jas. Warren and Monday I went to the Strand and got a certified check for $23 the amount of my bill to Warren and sent it to him. I cannot write of the trouble and anxiety which each day brings to me. I try to overcome it but cannot. I find it impossible to paint here but I keep busy about something. Yesterday I repaired the windows in the barn which were much out of order and in the afternoon Gertrude and I took a ride by Steep Rocks and around the river road to Flatbush. It was a beautiful afternoon after a threatening morning and the light was rich and golden. It was rained nearly all day today. I spent the forenoon completing my work on the barn windows. We have had a great deal of cloudy weather but it is not depressing weather. If my mind were entirely at ease I should thoroughly enjoy it.